My sakura nights

There are nights like tonight when I can't sleep, nights where I find my self wondering in the deep of the night staring at my cherry blossom (sakura) lamp about the existence of love, a true love that's out there wondering the same way I'm wondering about it my self tonight, hoping and wishing for me like I'm waiting and wishing for it as well...

It's amazing how a four letter word can drive someone absolutely insane, and the feeling is nothing compared to the madness of it; words become empty and short meaning while actions seem madly and irrational but when it comes to truthful meaning it's always different and yet in essence it's the same for everyone...

I'm the kind that has never been in love and yet truly believes in love, that one day or night I will too feel the beautiful madness of love as I do in my sweetest dreams...

I believe it just doesn't matter at all sometimes considering that well, things are the way they just are... Sometimes some things have special timings so no matter what you do, things will happen when they are just meant to be, when both persons are ready for eachother when they will recognize themselves in each other...

*VINTAGE*

An Off Day

Has anyone had an off day?!? the kind of day that is just to forced because things just don't flow naturally no matter how much you try TTnTT?!? I mean is not a bad day is just an off day because is not entirely bad nor good, just awkward things happen one after another until it gets to a point that you just want to dig a big hole and hide inside *sighs*, perhaps I'm sounding too dramatic but that's how I felt today... My day started pretty well actually, had a funny/odd dream, something that could make me laugh to tears; a delicious breakfast, an easy going schedule that got entirely complicated and horrified by the arrival of an old -but not missed- "item" *deep sigh*, then everything changed, the pressure was higher/the movements were under microscope and the words became thoughts of guessing kind... Ok keep it cool you say to yourself as you try to do everything according to how you know it should be done but in the mean while things keep popping up so you can't really keep it too cool so you just try to keep up until you can finally have your 15mins lunch break, and things get terribly abusive when some stranger tries to violate your vital space and you find yourself almost in danger, and not just that, it was his fault and still he insults you for not respecting, so you move a long a little and asap you pull over and have a nervous tear breakdown which only make things worst because your nose ands eyes get reddish so your face literally talks for you, so you try not show it but as usual someone always must and things get awkward again... *sighs*

*sighs*

I'm here on a sunday night staring at my window while listening to a soundtrack as i let my fingers type my thoughts, my doubts, the questions I can't seem to answer no matter the restless hours, nights and days I spend trying to figure out all the possible points of views of them, and even when I have so many years doing the same I still believe in an answer sooner or later I don't know but one thing is for sure, that's better than never so I'll keep meditating, searching, looking for it because I've faith and I believe it...

Never regret anything that once made you smile...

It's so funny how many things turn out to be, but at the end if it made you smile or you had a good time why should you regret it or feel sorry for?!? because it's not right?!? or because someone says so?!? no I don't believe those are reasons good enough... I mean yes sure no one wants to hurt anyone but we can not live up to the expectations of everyone but our owns and even like that sometimes we don't even full fill our owns... Life is not about liking or pleasing everyone but about enjoying the ride and among several more things, just definitively not about make life hard and a totally agony.

I believe life is full of surprises and all of them are "good" in some way or another, we are just way to absorbed in this so call society that we forget simple things and the joy of them, we get so tangled in living faster and faster that's just not possible nor worth it, what's the point in speed if you can't enjoy the view on the way?!?.